From the moment I stalked her on Facebook I knew she was going to become one of my favorite women. I had applied to Life Choice Ministries in the fall to complete my practicum for graduate school and my position was riding on Sarah interviewing me and agreeing to supervise me for the next 8 months. I knew from my extensive Facebook research that, like me, she enjoyed The Colbert Report, understood the serious difference between Jewel's old stuff and new stuff, and appreciated references to Robert Goulet. I immediately began to brainstorm how to get this job while simultaneously convincing her to want to be my friend. I knew she liked the show Portlandia and decided that the most important thing to do to prepare for my interview was put together an outfit with a bird on it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XM3vWJmpfo). I'm not saying my bird scarf got me the job, but it definitely helped. During those 8 months Sarah supervised me doing more than counseling the brave women that came into Life Choice, she also showed me what it looked like to stop playing it safe and dream a bigger dream. Coloring inside the lines was my favorite thing to do. Symbolically speaking, Sarah took my coloring book, pointed out that it looked pretty, and then ripped it up. I want to spend some time reflecting on how and why Sarah just being Sarah inspired me to be a more courageous woman.
1. She didn't prefer meeting in the same place more than once. Sarah once referred to our routine meetings at Bluestem as "stuffy" and we immediately began trying new places all around Manhattan. From donuts to cheese curds to Thai food, she took me on a wild ride and my last few months in Manhattan were ones I will never forget. Because routine is the only place I feel safe, these weekly meetings challenged more than my digestive system; every week was a new lesson in self-discovery, courage, and trust. Not only did I learn that I don't hate Thai food, but some of the best, most influential meetings we had took place in areas of Manhattan that I had never been. Trying new things sparks creativity and teaches you valuable lessons about yourself.
2. Right after knowing and loving the Lord, the most important thing to Sarah was being a good wife and mother. Her son is her whole world, but unlike some other moms I know, Sarah had more to talk about than her child's latest developmental milestone. She explained to me once that part of being a good wife and mother is being a dynamic woman. (I remember that because right after she said it I excused myself, went to the bathroom, and wrote it on my hand.) That phrase sounds simple but I can assure you that it is not. It involves knowing yourself and then intentionally being yourself; most people never make it through that first part. Sarah is a loved daughter of Christ and a dedicated wife and mother, but she is also a writer (http://sarahsiders.com/), a social worker, a church planter, a friend, a human rights activist, a volunteer, and more. Managing a family and a free spirit is an art and perfecting it takes a lifetime, but that doesn't stop her from trying. She taught me that it is okay to be a woman and love more than your husband and family.
3. Sarah is a free spirit. She is full of creativity and inspiration and wears fun, whimsical scarves in her hair and somehow makes it look cute. I never told her this but I often went home right after meeting with her and tried to make that look work on me. It never did.
Hair scarves on Sarah:
Hair scarves on me:
Continuing on with my point, I always admired how Sarah's well of wild dreams and colorful ideas never seemed to run dry. Sarah is naturally a very creative person, but she also combats "writers block" and a lack of inspiration by choosing to participate in creative things. For example, she painted a room in her house yellow and went from long hair to a pixie cut without having a bob first. Coming from a person who has had the same haircut since 7th grade, I suspect that she has more courage in her pinky finger than I do in my entire body. If Sarah runs out of ideas, she goes and finds more. She isn't afraid to try new things. The methodical rules I live by do not apply to her. It took me several months to realize that living a life inside the box was going to produce ideas that were also inside the box. No wonder I was tired and uninspired. If I wanted to be a bold, courageous woman I had to live boldly and courageously. She taught me that "if you want to be brave, you must do brave things. The bravery will come later." That nugget of wisdom is also posted on her blog and if you're smart you have already left my blog to go read hers.
The three lessons that Sarah taught me during our 8 months together have changed my life. She didn't mean to teach me those things, but the life inside of her couldn't help but spill over onto me and I am eternally grateful. I don't doubt that most people who spend time with Sarah walk away feeling braver, more creative, and more like the person they are supposed to be than they did before they met her. While I continue to struggle with self-imposed rules and guidelines, Sarah gave me the kick I needed to see that there is much more to life and there is much more to ME than I ever knew. If attaining some of the qualities that Sarah has is the end result of taking risks, making mistakes, and dreaming a bigger dream, I don't have to be afraid of the process. The grass really is greener on the other side. Sarah's life changed mine and the imprint she left on my heart is now being filled with braver choices and a love for myself that I didn't have before.
Sarah, you are a gift. Thank you.
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