The Lovely Initiative

My best friend recently started a movement called "The Lovely Initiative" and you've got to check it out. You can learn all about her purpose and mission here: http://www.thelovelyinitiative.org/.

She recently asked to feature me on the site and it was a really special experience. The photoshoot, discussion, and writing segment really challenged me to search for the loveliest pieces of myself and share them bravely with the purpose of ending the destructive cycle of comparison among women. This movement is all about being empowered by each other's stories. I am just so proud of my dear friend and what she is accomplishing here by searching for all things good in the world when there is so much bad.

Here is my writing segment and favorite picture from the day:

"What makes me lovely? My ability to grieve with an open heart.

I've experienced a significant amount of loss in my life, most recently the loss of my ability to conceive naturally and my four angel babies who I lost in the womb along the way. Instead of allowing this struggle to harden or paralyze me, I fully submitted to the process and allowed it to sharpen me. Grieving has exposed the loveliest parts of myself. I welcomed people into our journey by speaking and writing openly about infertility when I could have chosen to isolate myself. I asked for help when I needed it when I could have tried (and failed) to do it alone. I was kind to myself and spoke words of encouragement when I could have accepted blame. I continued to dream about our future as parents when I could have given up hope. I continued to pursue Christ and ask the tough questions when I could have let resentment lead me astray. I allowed myself the space and time to mourn when I could have pretended I was unaffected.  I was understanding and gentle with the people in my life who were absent and insensitive during this process when I could have ended relationships that were important to me.

I refuse to let my circumstances define who I am and what kind of life I get to live. I don't know what my future family will look like, but I know I have a beautiful life unfolding before me because I serve a beautiful God. Nothing aches quite like the loss of our children and the life that could have been with them, but nothing restores quite like believing in the good to come. "